We were like sibling that depends on each other. People always
say we bickering like husband and wife. I have know you seen we were kids. I
remember at my hometown when we were kids; you said that you will always
protect me. You make my grandpa laugh when you said you want to marry me when
we were kids.
Being teenagers has changed us a lot.We has come to the stage where
we easily fall in love. We had started puberty. We always have the feeling of
curious and always want to try something new. I was your first love as you said
that time. I feel so shy when you said it and when you kiss me; I got the
feeling of falling in love with a friend that I know since kid turn into my
lover. That time when a boy turn into man and a girl turn into woman.
You broke our promises. Life comes and attacks me when I least expect
it. You broke my heart. It hard to accept what you saying. The words
"let's broke up" really hurt me that time. I wondering who that girls
that take you from me. My life then full of anger, I been drowning with bad
attitude. You turn me into bad girl. You change me so much since that day. I
didn't know how my life turns out and I can’t avoid how hard it was without
you. I just face it without you and get more hurt.
I was foolish by your love. I was afraid I can't live
without you. Since that day I’m trying to forget although it was really hard.
It's like everyday I'm trying to avoid you. It was painful. Until one day...
One day, you wanted to see me. I'm saying that I was busy but you
leave me with a message “I hope you will success in study and live better
without me. I wish I can be with you but actually I can't". I didn’t understand
what it means, so I ignore it.
My life gets better as what you said. I'm making myself busy
with study and other things.
As time
passed, my feeling towards you has fade away. I completely forget you. My mum
say you were sick but I ignore it as my ego was so high. I really mad at what
you did to me so I think that you deserve a punishment.
I got news from my family that you been in
hospitals for 3 months but still at that time I didn’t have the feeling of
sympathy to you because of the pain losing you in the past few year. Until one
day when I know you were died but that day I didn’t get a chance to see you because
I was not at that place.
A few days later yours girlfriend
call me. She explains about all of it. Suddenly tears come out from my eyes, I’m
asking myself why does this happen??Why you did this to me?? After all this
time you lie to me. You said you didn’t love me but the truth you didn’t want
me to feel sad when you gone away, right? You trying to make me feel comfort
and can focus in my study, the reason, the truth has been revealing. Why??
After a long time, after me hardly
to forget you, you make me feel guilty leaving you alone with the pain inside
your heart. I never knew that you can hold that pain so long and I never knew
you did it because you love me so much.
If only if I can go back to the
past where I should have known you were sick, I wish I can be with you until
the last breath. How can I do it to laughing again, crying and falling in love
again? You were lonely.
Your friend the
one that you make as a fake girlfriend said that what you wanted to see that I
was live happily without you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it. What I know right
now there are no other guys that can replace you from my heart.
